If you've fought many arduous battles in life, love and career, and they've swallowed you and your sense of purpose, perhaps it's time to rewrite the lyrics to the song you've been singing. If you've survived these battles, have gleaned invaluable lessons from them and still have the scars to prove it, you deserve to be commended. Trick is not waiting for the applause or the kudos but rather rely on yourself for the attaboy. It seems unnatural, as our arms weren't designed to pat our own backs. Maybe that's a design flaw. At any rate, learning to self-soothe, self-promote and self-congratulate is, in my opinion, learned. True ownership of our warts and triumphs comes from accepting that we are meant to fail, suffer, rise & persevere. Thinking we are born awesome is just silly. My point is if you don't grab the role of being your own hero, someone else will. That's a big job, so if you willingly give it away, be sure it's in trusted hands.
Self Confidence is the sexiest outfit you could wear. I'm talking to you too, men! I'm not saying walking around with a permanent cat-that-ate-the-canary grin, but there's nothing wrong with a shoulders back and head high gait that shows yourself, any anyone who cares to watch, that you know where you're headed. It's been demonized and widely unaccepted to toot one's own horn. We are taught and sung to be humble & kind. In total agreement as humble pie is delicious and should be a mainstay of our diet. Being humble doesn't mean you need to surrender all your adda-boys. Conceit is unsavory. Confidence is alluring.
Hello you! Have we met? It's always a good idea to introduce yourself to yourself. Sounds awkward I'll concede, but oh so important. You extend the courtesy to the window human handing you your coffee, or the groomer of your animal, or the stranger in the elevator, or the parent you don't know in the bleachers having shown up to also enjoy a U14 basketball game. These are strangers to you, yet you smile and say Hi! Why? Because you're a darn good human who was taught that courtesy travels and goes a long way. Because you recognize a simple gesture can truly change the trajectory of someone's day. And let's not lie, it feels good to connect with others. It's an innate need, so we act on it. Why not then offer yourself a simple smile or hello? A quick recognition that you are present, and you've shown up for yourself. No matter if you trip and fall, crush a meeting, end a relationship, take a risk, win a game or try frog legs...you were there. Speak to yourself with gratitude no matter what your day looked like.
Speaking of speaking to yourself. Did you know every thought or aloud comment is heard from that little person inside you? Making no claims there's an actual person inside you, I'm not a doctor, but we are each blessed (or cursed) with knowing he/she exists. I'm the first to admit I've too often ignored my inner self. She has offered sage advice over the years, but she can also be a demon and has gotten me into trouble. Your inner self can be your best friend... if you feed it. Make sense? Make a conscious effort to feed and send your inner self only positive thoughts and comments about yourself. Notwithstanding the aggravating, negative and sometimes abusive discussions we engage in with others, we need to do a better job of sifting through the garbage so as to protect the inner self. Mine is nosey and has big ears so I'm careful. Be kind to you and say Hello...and mean it.
Foster Courage. Courage isn't living without fear. Courage is acting even though fear exists. It's powerful and can be a game changer for you. Courage to do right. Courage to stand in the face of adversity. Courage to speak when not invited to. Courage to admit your shortcomings. Courage to embrace yourself. Courage to love. Courage to release. Courage to risk. Being courageous allows you to stare at adversity, maybe even giggle at it, and plow through it. It doesn't necessarily mean run toward cannon fire, but you get the idea.
Character Matters. Your beliefs, values...all those wonderful mushy things that make you, you. Lack of it will leave you without long-lasting relationships, lousy career options and an inner voice that continually screams "we can do better"! Being devoted to something or someone, being loving, genuine, kind and empathetic are all cogs in the proverbial character wheel. Strength of character may not always make you popular, but gaining pride, integrity, peace of mind and a reputation of being trustworthy, makes it worth your trouble. With an unwavering character, you can trust yourself and your instincts while rising be the hero you need yourself to be.
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