If wherever you are now isn't where you should be...you may just be living and playing small. Good news, this isn't a life sentence and there is a cure. But, how can you tell if you're playing small? Unless you've got a brutally honest network of family, friends, or colleagues that call you out, because they see the light within that isn't shining, you may not fully realize it. In my humble peri-menopausal opinion, living and sharing your best self takes a conscious effort. Here are just a few ways I've learned to blast your light like a confetti bomb on New Year's Eve....take them as they apply.
Care less. Caring is vital, yes...but about the things that matter. Caring doesn't have to apply to what others think, feel, or say. Opinions are like...well you know. Everyone's got one. What other's opinions are, are none of your business. I've often found that letting in just one negative, possibly unfounded comment or opinion about your actions or dreams can fester and birth an infestation...like termites in the foundation. No thanks. Block that before it enters. If ever an energy-sucker existed, it's within the unkind words of those who don't celebrate or understand you.
Stare down Fear. Yeah, it can be crippling. I want to skydive, badly. But jumping out of a perfectly good plane and free-falling to my potential death is scary shit. Happy to admit it. Why then do I obsess about it, google nearby places and costs? Because I know it will free and quiet my inner voice. She knows best anyway. She knows what I want, what I need, and guides me to go after it. Listen to yours and quell the fear. Unlock whatever it is you're seeking...new career, new relationship, a new hobby...perhaps the quest for baking the perfect cheesecake. Keeping it quiet is most definitely playing small. I acknowledge I'm playing small by staying within the perceived confines of security and safety, but planes & heights do frighten me. I'm working on it. Courage, friends! Still haven't decided on when I'll free-fall, but I do know She won't shut up until I do.
No Shrinkage allowed. If you're not fitting, perhaps you've outgrown your current space. This seems like an easy one, however, refer to my above comment about courage. It will be required to formally accept you've outgrown a certain comfy spot. Apply this smackdown to anything and everything. To avoid living & playing small means you must accept your potential, even in the face of being uncomfortable or defying some stereotype you've been raised to believe about yourself, and get after it! You can't. You won't. You're not equipped. Surely you've heard some variation of this crap. I have. I say no shrinking allowed. My faith assures me that whatever I was meant to do, I'm obliged to do it well and to my best and fullest potential. I'm confident you may already be aware of your super skill. Why would you ever consider laying low or toning down what you were meant for? Recall that aforementioned confetti bomb visual and sprinkle that beauty everywhere you can....with zero apologies.
Live Big. This is literally the anti-Small. This is not impulsive or frantic. It's living with purpose, direction, objectives, and thereby.....Fulfillment! It's within your realm of possibility and reach. Remove the cuffs, unbind the wings, untether the ship (insert whatever metaphor speaks to you) and begin to live big. By doing this, you're quite literally, not living small. Bravo!
Recognize the Neighborhood. Even though I've learned and continue to focus on the above lessons, falling out of the hood happens. The Hood is that place where you are fully awake and connected to your life, strengths, gifts, accomplishments, purpose, and are laser-focused on your path for the day. Then it happens. Doubt creeps, a shortcoming rears its head, someone's silly opinion finds its way to your ears, and you are teleported out of the Hood and into an energy and productivity-sucking mood. Here's where your resiliency and bounce back matters. It might make the difference between a winning day and a wasted one. Recognize the shift. Force a self-correct. (this often comes in the form of exercise, a call with a girlfriend or a cupcake for me...), and regain your position of playing big.
Playing small removes inner grace, devoids inner peace, and robs the world of your offerings to it. Learn to defy all that's in your way and grab ahold of your bigness.
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